Diary of a 5th Grade Teacher

Welcome teachers! We’ve all said it before: “I could write a book about this!” Right? Well, a blog is close enough….so here goes!

Dear Diary,

What is that smell coming from in my classroom? Is it a student? I know that 5th graders are at the “age” where deodorant is NOT an option, but this is just something else entirely…….

Oh! Maybe it’s the classroom itself! I can clearly see an inch of dust gathering on the window seal, and some weird hairy substance growing from the sink.


Dear Diary,

When will they listen? Even after telling the class FIVE TIMES what the word “evaluate” meant, I STILL had one raise their hand and say, “What does evaluate mean?”

Dear Diary,

Is it okay to shout “GO AWAY” every time a student comes to my desk? I haven’t said this yet, but there are times it goes through my head…especially when the majority of the desk visits involve some kind of help with a snotty nose, a lack of a pencil, or a NEED to get a drink of water…and yes, this is 5th grade!

Dear Diary,

Wow…..that smell is back……

Dear Diary,

Girl drama. What is a proper way to express that you don’t care who is mad a who, or who looked at another student funny, or why you were best friends five minutes ago, but now you’re not?

Dear Diary,

I just taught this YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!! HOW is it possible for all brain activity to cease when we do the SAME thing today?

Dear Diary,

It’s January, and we’ve been in school since August. Why don’t my students know when lunch is yet? Even with the schedule on the board…..since August. Please make them stop asking me.

Dear Diary,

Do students think I was born yesterday? I can tell the difference between a 5th grader’s work compared to the work of a 35 year old parent!

Dear Diary,

Is it okay to ask for students to make a “choo choo train” since they seemed to have forgotten how to get in a line?

Dear Diary,

If I hear “What do we do when we are done?” one more time, even after I wrote the instructions on the board, I’m going to break something expensive…..

Dear Diary

How hard is it to write their name where it says “Name?”

Dear Diary,

That smell…….

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